Humans are social creatures. We have grown up with this belief imposed by society since childhood. But are we really social creatures? As so-called social beings, how much do we truly uphold sociality?
In a crowd of many qualified people, we remember the person who knows how to speak beautifully. The ability to speak well is not only a key to popularity but can also be a crucial factor in success. However, in addition to speaking properly, listening attentively is also an essential skill. According to Stephen R. Covey:
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand. Most people listen with the intent to reply.”
The ability to communicate effectively—both speaking and listening—is called People Skills! If you develop this skill well, you will notice that people accept you easily, and you will have no difficulty mingling with others.
Many of us think that People Skills only mean being a good speaker. But that is not the case. People Skills actually encompass everything related to both speaking and listening.
There are two main parts of People Skills:
Listening
Speaking
So, let’s learn the etiquette of speaking and listening carefully!
1. Listening
Listening attentively is an art, and not everyone can master it easily. Are you surprised? You may wonder, what is the importance of listening? Remember, God gave us two ears and one mouth. This implies how the balance between speaking and listening should be. Today, I am sharing three key formulas to enhance your listening ability. This formula is known as the 3 A’s!
These 3 A’s stand for:
Acceptance
Appreciation
Approval
Acceptance:
When we speak, we often notice that our listeners seem uninterested or even bored. Likewise, when we are the listeners, we sometimes do the same, which is inappropriate. Whenever someone wants to talk to us, we should welcome them warmly so they feel comfortable sharing their thoughts. This could be through a warm and friendly exchange!
Appreciation:
Many of us are hesitant to encourage others. We often shy away from appreciating someone’s good deeds. However, a small compliment, a bit of encouragement, or a few motivational words can instantly strengthen relationships. When someone shares an idea or a plan with you, appreciate it immediately. You will notice that the person feels much more comfortable and valued in your presence.
Approval:
People seek validation for their ideas and plans. If you remain silent after hearing someone’s thoughts, they may feel uncertain or hesitant. Instead, respond to their ideas—give constructive feedback, suggest improvements, or simply acknowledge their efforts. This reassures them and builds their confidence.
While practicing the 3 A’s (Acceptance, Appreciation, and Approval), you must maintain Attention at all times. Unfortunately, we often fail to do this. When someone is talking, we tend to get distracted—glancing at our phones, checking the time, or letting our minds wander. But have you ever thought about how uncomfortable this makes the speaker feel?
- If you check the time while someone is speaking, it implies that you are waiting for them to finish.
- If you focus on your phone or look away, it suggests you are uninterested.
However, the first and foremost rule of effective listening is paying attention. Additionally, many of us listen only to argue rather than to understand. But true listening is about understanding and learning. If you give someone your full attention while they speak, you will be amazed at how powerful simple listening can be in strengthening human connections.
2. Speaking
While speaking, it is crucial to keep a few important things in mind. Let’s go over them one by one:
Smile:
No matter where you are speaking, maintain a smile on your face. A friendly expression makes you more approachable and encourages others to listen to you with a positive attitude.
Nodding:
Occasionally nodding your head while listening expresses agreement or engagement. Communication is not just verbal; body language plays a key role too. So, use nodding appropriately to show your involvement.
Eye Contact:
Another essential aspect of speaking is eye contact. Many of us tend to look down, to the side, or hesitate to make direct eye contact while speaking. However, avoiding eye contact can be perceived as rudeness or lack of confidence. Without proper eye contact, it is difficult to establish a strong connection with your audience.
Thus, always remember:
- Look your audience in the eye.
- Smile while speaking.
- Nod when necessary to reinforce engagement.
By mastering these simple yet impactful habits, you will improve both your speaking and listening skills, making communication smoother and more effective!