Humans are social creatures. We grew up with this concept instilled by society from a young age. But, are we really social creatures? As a so-called social organism, how much do we truly protect and value sociality?

Among many qualified people, we remember those who know how to speak beautifully. The ability to speak well is a key not only to popularity but sometimes even to success. However, in addition to speaking well, listening properly is also an important skill. According to Stephen R. Covey:

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; most people listen with the intent to reply.”

The ability to speak nicely and listen attentively is called People Skills! If you have this skill, you’ll find that people accept you easily, and you won’t have any difficulty connecting with others.

Many of us think that People Skills only mean knowing how to speak well. But that’s not the case. People Skills actually encompass everything related to speaking and listening.

There are two main parts of People Skills:

1. Listening.

2. Speaking.

So, let’s learn the etiquette of speaking and listening carefully!

1. Listening: Listening attentively is an art—not everyone can achieve it. Surprised? You might wonder, what is the importance of listening? Remember, God gave us two ears and one mouth. This reminds us of the balance between speaking and listening. Today, I’m giving you three formulas to improve your listening ability, known as the 3 A’s!

These 3 A’s mean:

1. Acceptance

2. Appreciation

3. Approval

Acceptance: When we speak, our listeners’ expressions often reveal disinterest or boredom. We sometimes do the same when we are listeners, which is inappropriate. Whenever someone wants to talk to us, we should welcome them warmly so they feel comfortable speaking. This can be done with a friendly, open demeanor!

Appreciation: Many of us hesitate to give encouragement or praise. However, these little words of praise or motivation can instantly change a relationship. When someone shares an idea or a plan, showing appreciation can make them feel much more comfortable talking to you.

Approval: People often seek approval for their ideas or plans. If you don’t respond after hearing someone’s idea, they may feel uncertain. By commenting on their idea, perhaps suggesting ways to improve it, you reassure them and reduce their self-doubt.

While applying these 3 A’s—Acceptance, Appreciation, and Approval—the most crucial thing to give is Attention. But we often fail to pay attention while listening. When someone is talking, we may get distracted or look at our phones. But have you thought about how uncomfortable this can be for the person speaking? Looking at the clock, for instance, signals that you are waiting for the conversation to end. Focusing on your phone or looking away suggests a lack of interest. The foundation of strong listening skills is paying full attention. Another tendency, especially among us Bengalis, is to listen only to argue, rather than to understand. But if you listen with intent to understand, you’ll find it possible to make a real connection just by listening!

2. Speaking: Some important points should be kept in mind while speaking. Let’s go over them!

Smile: Wherever you’re speaking, keep a smile on your face. This will make people view you as friendly and approachable. While listening, smile as well.

Nodding: Sometimes, nodding your head shows agreement or understanding. Communication isn’t just verbal; it includes body language, too. So, remember to nod appropriately.

Eye Contact: Many of us look down or away while speaking, feeling hesitant to make eye contact. This can come off as rude. Without eye contact, it’s challenging to form a connection with your audience.

So, always remember to look your audience in the eye and smile while speaking. Nod when necessary.